http://www.xojane.com/issues/making-fun-of-small-penises
No, a Small Penis is Not an Issue.
We can all agree that suppressing sexuality is a bad thing, so I’m not attacking people who have a preferred size. That being said, this article is very body shaming. It operates under the presupposition that small penises are bad and big penises are good.
Penis size is a body image issue, and so while some people (maybe even most, who knows) may receive greater pleasure from bigger penises, it is wrong to teach that big penises are good penises and small ones are bad. And that is precisely what this article has done. The feelings of frustration, disappointment, and sadness I receive from having to explain this to feminists are overwhelming.
Your article is infested with the notion that big penises are good and small ones are bad. I’ll start at the title and work my way down hitting some, but not all, of the places where your prejudices show because I simply don’t have the time to do that.
“Is a small penis a feminist issue?”
Rather obviously, this title assumes that a small penis is an issue.
I want to write them back and tell them that their penises are perfect and how it doesn’t make a difference, and that four inches is basically a megalodon dick, but that would be a lie. Preference aside, we all know that different dicks feel different, unless we have one of those blind vaginas from “Middlesex.”
“I want to write them back and tell them that their penises are perfect… But that would be a lie”. I’ve highlighted enough points for you to figure this one out. You’re saying and assuming that there is something wrong with a small penis. Even if there was a particular size that no woman on the planet could receive pleasure from, TEACHING SOMEONE THEIR PENIS IS BAD IS WRONG BECAUSE YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR BODY SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.
But, like having fat, we tend to treat having a small penis like a character flaw. These aren’t character flaws! I know it feels good to say something about some jerk’s microbial excuse for genitals, but an asshole is an asshole whether his penis is a sapling or a mighty oak.
Small penises are not flaws of any variety nor are they a “microbial excuse for genitals.” In spite of how pleasurable YOU or anyone else find them, they are genitals just the same. A small penis is a sapling, a big penis is a mighty oak. Do I really have to explain how this too shames small penises and glorifies big ones?
I’d be tempted to say that, empirically, certain sizes of body parts are just more effective, much in the same way that a bus is more effective at holding 30 people than a car. But it is not objectification to admire a very large bus. And at its root, objectifying people is a feminist issue.
My issues with this section are immense. You’re tempted to say that empirically big penises are more effective? It doesn’t really matter what you’re tempted to say is empirical unless you’ve conducted an empirical study to cite because no one else has proven that big penises are more pleasing physiologically. Oh, and you say it’s not objectification to admire a bus? Firstly, it is objectification AT IT’S ROOT to refer to, or think of, a penis or any other body part as a bus or any other object.
Let’s pretend that empirically, larger than average penises have been proven to be more pleasurable for women vaginally, maybe one day it will be. It is a possibility, and as a man, I really have no room to say what feels good to women. To then turn around and use the science that says big penises create better vaginal stimulation and therefore bigger penises are better penises is a very heterosexist Penis In Vagina assumption. To use these nonexistent scientific results to teach only straight men that big penises are better penises would also be wrong. It’s assuming that the purpose of a straight man’s penis is to please a woman. It’s appalling to me that I have to explain this one. Is the purpose of a vagina to please a man? Let me broaden this thought: is the purpose of a vagina to please gynephilics? No. No one’s genitals have any PURPOSE OR OBLIGATION to any person other than themselves. More importantly, assigning the purpose or obligation to men’s genitals that they are for fucking and nothing else supports rape culture.
Maybe feminism doesn’t address the issues of heterosexual men, but it is deeply rooted in the LGBT movement, and it’s not only heterosexual men that have penises. And if objectification of a person is a feminist issue, than penis shaming ANYONE is a feminist issue.
Over at another web site, I have a write-in an advice column for young men. The topic that always comes up in the emails they send is the sensitive one of dick size: “Do I have to tell a girl I have a small dick?” “Do women really care about dick size?” “Are there any girls out there who like small dicks?” “A four inch dick is small? I heard four inches was average!”
I find it desperately unsettling that you write an advice column to young men. The fact that you don’t tell them that their penises are perfect is inexcusable. And for future penis shaming reference, depending on how young the man is, 4 inches might not be far from the average.
I don’t really consider myself a writer, and I certainly couldn’t call myself an activist; I identify most as a musician. This is the only time I’ve ever done anything like this, but upon reading your article I felt like I had to say something. Of all the things I’ve read on penis size, (and believe me, they are plentiful) this is the one that compelled me to speak up. I’ve been living with a preoccupation of penis size for years now. I read up on averages and on women’s personal opinions of particular sizes. I read about pills, pumps, creams, surgeries, and medieval looking stretching devices. I sort through all the scams and falsified statistics designed to prey on my insecurities. I second guessing statistical findings like MSNBC/elle magazine which report that eighty-five percent of women are “very satisfied” with their partner’s penis size. I read statistics and analysis of said statistics on women’s thoughts of penises and penis size and the penis’ importance sexually and the importance of sex weighted against other things. I read about the reasons women prefer larger penises. I regularly pose questions to myself like “I wonder what the average ideal size for women is?” and through scouring the internet for hours on end I’ve found no answer to that or many other questions, and my brain compulsively goes back to them. I wonder what it would be like to be able to pull out of my pants that giant penis that every woman wants. I have what the medical community calls small penis syndrome. Not to be confused with actually having a small penis (which our society has also determined is a MEDICAL PROBLEM and has thus been named micro penis) small penis syndrome is an anxiety disorder that deals with a fixation on one’s penis size due to self-perceived inadequacy. I have wasted so much time reading and so much energy caring that I know firsthand the damage that an article like this can cause. Just imagine desperately searching for someone to accept you, and tell you that your body is ok, and so you turn to feminism, the one place where all body shapes are supposed to be loved and accepted. Then you find out they aren’t ok with your body shape, yours just isn’t good. In fact, the only shape they don’t embrace is yours. Feminism, the ONE place where you imagined being able to find acceptance, rejects you for something that you can do absolutely nothing about.
This article made me pretty angry, mainly because I’m very committed and sensitive to the issue of penis size specifically, but I know that you were well intentioned. You talked about how it isn’t a character flaw and shouldn’t be treated as such. That’s more than I can say of most people who talk about the subject. And I really do believe that you’re truly invested in body shaming issues. And I’d say it’s probable that the only reason I understand the subject so well is because I have a penis and not too long ago I was 60lbs heavier than I am now. The fact is though, until you understand that our bodies aren’t for other people, you really don’t understand the issue.
